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Paradise Lost

I haven't posted on this blog for a long time. No inspiration you see. But events in the past few years from 2014 onwards have created an unrest within me. A need to get things out, shout out the frustrations and indignation that I feel festering inside. These usually come out as discussions and debates with my wife, but tend to degenerate into arguments (heated) and unsatisfactory endings. (which have to be taken care of in the bedroom).

The wife thinks I take things personally and am of the mentality of my way or the highway, and as such am incapable of having a logical and unbiased discussion or debate. I initially dismissed the idea as absurd, since school I have striven to be liberal, equal towards all genders, castes, creeds etc., I couldn't have turned into a bigot surely. But, deeper introspection reveals the seeds are there and slowly but surely, I have started leaning more right than I would like to admit. Hence the post, get it all out, try to make sense of it and …
Recent posts

The International Experience

I have been wanting to "pen" this one down for ages. I was simply worried that it might not be right or correct to write this post. But I could not move on either, hence the long delay since my last post almost 6 months ago.  Finally i have decided to write this post down, first I need to get it out of my system and second, unless I write this, I wont move on and I so want to post more.

It is said international experience changes a person. Exposure to other cultures and communities and people who live differently, in different environments makes one more mature. You see the wider scope of things, the problems other people face, their beliefs and perceptions.

But does this really happen? It did happen to me, I guess, I started counting my blessings for having been born and brought up in India and for being borne into a Hindu family. This was achieved after a lot of comparison between what we have in India and the conditions/ situations / environment faced by the people I was…

Stranger in my own home

About a month and a half ago. I returned from Harare. My stint was over and there was no chance of me going back to Harare. At least not with the same employer.It felt really wonderful to be back. Familiar sights, smells, roads, buildings etc. But a lot had changed. And I do not mean just the roads and buildings and the scenery, but myself.Since 2009, I have consistently been staying away from home. Delhi, Shimla, Dehradun, Chandigarh, Bangalore and finally Harare. Coming home after such a long time for an extended stay is a unsettling experience. As days went by I realised with great distraught that I had forgotten old haunts, shortcuts, roads, out of the way pubs and eateries. I was suddenly unaware of what to buy where and information did not come readily. It took a lot of prodding and head scratching to remember all of my accumulated knowledge of Goa. I had to travel many roads anew to rebuild the linkages in my head.Does this happen to everyone? I mean its so embarrassing to have…

Illogical Humans!!

Some times I really wonder how Mr Spock survived in the Star trek Universe in the company of so many humans. I mean, human emotions and their driven actions must surely always be an irritant to Mr Spock. And considering the fact that he was part human, I am sure it must have been a daunting task to control that side from expressing the frustration, anger and indignation at illogical human behavior. What an irony!!

What makes me think of Spock here, is that I find myself increasingly in similar positions when concerns my fellow humans beings in my immediate surroundings these days. I am usually very calm and composed, avoiding conflict, unnecessary confrontation and that sort. This is due to the self awareness that I have a very short fuse and I am capable of serious stuff when enraged. But that is besides the point.

What irks me most is why people have to form an opinion about my personal life. I have colleagues, I never ask or bother to find out about their personal lives except for th…

A holiday in Zimbabwe

Its been roughly seven months since I arrived here in Zimbabwe. Most of it has been spent working 15-18 hours a day giving rise to complaints and accusations of me ignoring my family, the wife etc. even leading to a time when my wife refused to communicate with me.

While many a married man may find that a pleasant thought, I for one very much like my wife talking to me, because that makes sure I don't have to say anything, which is just as well since I usually don't have anything much to say or talk about these days except work.

But it was all worth it. All the hard work, long hours and ignoring the family paid off finally when it came to cashing in my chips. The wife and me went on a holiday!!

But planning and putting together the holiday was by itself a daunting task. You see, while I am in Harare, Zimbabwe, the wife is in Oxford, UK, also working also constrained by the fact the since she'd just joined in August 2013, there could be a problem getting leave. But all went we…


Its been  2 months since I have begun my new adventure in Zimbabawe. Contrary to popular belief, its a thriving society, with kind, good natured albeit greedy people, striving to get back on its feet after the economic meltdown a decade ago.

I thought the going would be tough. Its much more than tough, its brutal, but I find myself enjoying it. The pressure, the multitasking, developing people skills, the responsibility and the the multiple roles that I am playing here seem to give me a rush, the same kind of rush that I felt when I was working my own gig at Goa in 2006-2008.

But, in this rush, I seem to have forgotten that I am now a married man, that part of my free time, all if possible, belongs to my family. So engrossed am I in my work, that I am finding myself thinking more of work and less of the family I left back home. Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me? What makes one forget some things while remembering others? What makes ME, remember to call up every single con…

Dirty, Lying Scoundrels

I used to find it unfair at the way, men and women have been stereotyped in my country. If you are a man and a stranger, people wont trust you easily, wont have faith in what you say. Any crime will automatically be attributed to the man etc etc.

While in case of a woman, ah things are different, non one will believe a woman can be distrustful, or conniving or a cheat. Its only after she has done that, will people wake up.

But as I have been moving around North India, working with different people from different walks of life, varied levels of income, education levels etc etc. I have slowly but surely come to realise that the general public are not at fault. Most of the men I have met are such disgusting people in their personal lives, one peek and I feel ashamed to be associated with the guy.

No matter what their education, why do so many men show so much disrespect to their wives. I mean, even the present times, she ha to serve these guys food, hot of the oven/stove ans she has to eat …