Its been 2 months since I have begun my new adventure in Zimbabawe. Contrary to popular belief, its a thriving society, with kind, good natured albeit greedy people, striving to get back on its feet after the economic meltdown a decade ago.
I thought the going would be tough. Its much more than tough, its brutal, but I find myself enjoying it. The pressure, the multitasking, developing people skills, the responsibility and the the multiple roles that I am playing here seem to give me a rush, the same kind of rush that I felt when I was working my own gig at Goa in 2006-2008.
But, in this rush, I seem to have forgotten that I am now a married man, that part of my free time, all if possible, belongs to my family. So engrossed am I in my work, that I am finding myself thinking more of work and less of the family I left back home. Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me? What makes one forget some things while remembering others? What makes ME, remember to call up every single contractor, contact and client, but forget to save time for the family?
I hate to think of the possible answers. Some might say I remember stuff that I am most interested in or stuff that excites me, gives me satisfaction and happiness. But nothing gives me more satisfaction than seeing my wife on the webcam, nothing excites me more than hearing her lovely voice on the phone. Then why do I forget to make time for her? Self doubt raises it ugly, sinister head. Am I a bad husband? Am I self obsessed and self centered? and the lot.
But I guess, its another of those lessons in life, where logic must prevail over emotions. No matter how excited my work may be, no matter how much I get to learn; there must always be time for family. Maybe if Mukta was here, I would not be looking for incomplete tasks after dinner or before breakfast. Maybe if Mukta was here, I would stop working at 6 pm and start only after 8 am.
If only. I already regret not bringing her here with me, but I believe her career as important than mine, maybe even more. I feel so proud of her PhD and her bright future. Makes me smile everytime. Makes me want to tell the world how proud I am of Mukta and I find myself telling everyone who cares to listen what a brilliant scientist my wife is.
And yet, here I am writing this blog, when I should be picking up the phone and calling her. But then its late and she is on vacation. I guess the call can wait unbtil tomorrow morining, when the time is right for both of us.
Until tomorrow morning.
I thought the going would be tough. Its much more than tough, its brutal, but I find myself enjoying it. The pressure, the multitasking, developing people skills, the responsibility and the the multiple roles that I am playing here seem to give me a rush, the same kind of rush that I felt when I was working my own gig at Goa in 2006-2008.
But, in this rush, I seem to have forgotten that I am now a married man, that part of my free time, all if possible, belongs to my family. So engrossed am I in my work, that I am finding myself thinking more of work and less of the family I left back home. Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me? What makes one forget some things while remembering others? What makes ME, remember to call up every single contractor, contact and client, but forget to save time for the family?
I hate to think of the possible answers. Some might say I remember stuff that I am most interested in or stuff that excites me, gives me satisfaction and happiness. But nothing gives me more satisfaction than seeing my wife on the webcam, nothing excites me more than hearing her lovely voice on the phone. Then why do I forget to make time for her? Self doubt raises it ugly, sinister head. Am I a bad husband? Am I self obsessed and self centered? and the lot.
But I guess, its another of those lessons in life, where logic must prevail over emotions. No matter how excited my work may be, no matter how much I get to learn; there must always be time for family. Maybe if Mukta was here, I would not be looking for incomplete tasks after dinner or before breakfast. Maybe if Mukta was here, I would stop working at 6 pm and start only after 8 am.
If only. I already regret not bringing her here with me, but I believe her career as important than mine, maybe even more. I feel so proud of her PhD and her bright future. Makes me smile everytime. Makes me want to tell the world how proud I am of Mukta and I find myself telling everyone who cares to listen what a brilliant scientist my wife is.
And yet, here I am writing this blog, when I should be picking up the phone and calling her. But then its late and she is on vacation. I guess the call can wait unbtil tomorrow morining, when the time is right for both of us.
Until tomorrow morning.
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