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Stranger in my own home

About a month and a half ago. I returned from Harare. My stint was over and there was no chance of me going back to Harare. At least not with the same employer.
It felt really wonderful to be back. Familiar sights, smells, roads, buildings etc. But a lot had changed. And I do not mean just the roads and buildings and the scenery, but myself.
Since 2009, I have consistently been staying away from home. Delhi, Shimla, Dehradun, Chandigarh, Bangalore and finally Harare. Coming home after such a long time for an extended stay is a unsettling experience.
As days went by I realised with great distraught that I had forgotten old haunts, shortcuts, roads, out of the way pubs and eateries. I was suddenly unaware of what to buy where and information did not come readily. It took a lot of prodding and head scratching to remember all of my accumulated knowledge of Goa. I had to travel many roads anew to rebuild the linkages in my head.
Does this happen to everyone? I mean its so embarrassing to have to ask directions in your own backyard. I knew most of Goa like the back of my hand and well, to not be that knowledgeable anymore is such a drag.
But its not only about places and directions etc. One tends to forget everyday stuff. Suddenly, I feel like a guest in my own home. I dont know the delivery schedules, I do not know the new postman or the new maid, do not know what soap we buy currently, am unaware of where dad now keeps his extra tools.
It is disturbing to the extent that one half of me wishes I had never left, while the other half wishes I had never returned.
It is really wonderful to be home. Havent had the chance to see the monsoon drench Goa in 5 years. Had not partaken of mom made home food in ages. But despite all of this and being surrounded by loved ones. I feel like a stranger in my own home.
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Location: G & M Ventures, A-9 Bansai Plaza,, Bansai, Kakoda, Curchorem Cacora

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